I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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