Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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