You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
