I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
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He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
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I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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