That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
