i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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