ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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