I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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