I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
