You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
