he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My feet surprised me
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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