you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
