Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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