Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
