And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
