You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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