How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
