she smelled like a LAN party
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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