So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
