I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
