Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
