I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
