When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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