I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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