you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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