It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Randomize
