Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
