If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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