she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
