your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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