I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
