If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
