My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
