Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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