I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
