i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
