I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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