I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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