This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
