Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize