Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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