Do you still have your period?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
