May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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