South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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