Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
