you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
