i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
