Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I could make wine with my vomit
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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