Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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