I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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