I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
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Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You made out with two different species that night
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i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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