My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize