I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
