I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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